Contrary to what those who never took time to study it think, the couple is one of the most changing elements of society. But, for some reason, it seems to remain a necessary way of life for humans in general.
Even with the SMM Generation, which is based on individuals, the couple is still an important factor that can not be ignored. But as I wrote it in my book, no man/woman can achieve themselves alone. We all need a mentor (one or more) and hopefully a life partner to achieve full self-realization. Without help from outside, we are but our insides and that can not compare to what others can be and achieve when they have helping hands around them.
But let’s take a quick look at a few things that couples need in order to be really functional and a healthy environment for both partners.
What the last few generations taught us: The need for desire
If there is one thing that all couples need in their lives today, it has to be the existence of a strong desire between both partners. If this desire ever disappears, it will threaten the whole structure and may destroy everything.
However, to hold on to that desire through the weeks, months and years that a relationship lasts, we need much more than just to find ways to keep it alive (like so many Lifestyle magazines preach today). In the long run, pressing novelties onto the other may just become oppressive and destructive. We also need to have the capacity to let go; to take a distance from one another. Only that separation can keep the desire of two people alive.
I think we can fairly say that it is a great gift from our predecessors to have taught us the recognition of the importance of sexuality in a couple. That stands for all of us; not just SMM. In fact, sex is often what differentiates a couple to friends these days. It is so important that we can come to the conclusion that sexuality is the cement of relationships in our day and age.
Sex, for women, represents the ultimate barrier, the one they are willing to let go for the one they share their life with (it is important to note that sharing does not necessarily mean living together). It indicates that she finds him (or her) worthy enough to become her lover.
With men, sexuality is like approval. It is almost as if they were placing their partner under their protection, allowing them to play (and make or bend rules) inside their territory; an ultimate gesture of sharing.
A sane sexuality will see the couple thrive. Its disappearance will, without a doubt, mean the death of it.
What kings and queens have thought us: Complicity
If desire is what cements couple, complicity is what opens up its horizons, stabilizes it and gives it a sense of a future altogether.
Complicity in a couple translates into many different things. When a couple is in its complete bonding phase, you will find complicity in any action throughout their day. What one does will affect the partner (and vice-versa), most of the time in a good way. It will enable the couple to grow into what it was meant to become. This is what we will call the self-achievement of the couple.
Complicity is the ‘’business’ side of the couple. It is non-emotional as oppose to desire. It is what makes it last and blossom through the years and lets it build a family if that is what they hoped for.
But whereas kings and queens (as well as others from the same time and with the same manners and habits) would get married mainly for that reason, while they would fulfill their desire with someone else, today’s couples try to find both (desire/complicity) in the same individual. That way the couple can achieve its emotional and its practical sides all at the same time.
What the SMM Generation has added to the mix: The individuals’ liberty to self-achieve
What is still missing to many couples today is the capacity to let each individual forming it to fully achieve him(her)self, withstanding the existence of the couple. And to do so, you need your life partner to be there at times but also to be absent at others.
An SMM couple knows that, to achieve one’s self, is not an egocentric action nor is it an act of rebellion against the couple. At the opposite, a SMM knows that, for the couple to find self-achievement, both individuals need to find it for themselves too. The growth of each party will assure a maximized growth of the couple.
Self-realization of the individual is the ultimate goal of any SMM but I must admit that there is even more glory when a couple manages to reach that point. Not only because it implies that both parties have reached their goal but also because it requests just a little more than one’s own achievement. A SMM couple is an indivisible and undefeatable force: The ultimate nucleus.
At a time when women finally get to play the part they deserve in couples, and also in society at large (which is being the equal of men), we can finally find such SMM couples.
Today, a man or a woman, on any given day, should be able to look up to his partner because it is in that fascination for the other that they will find their strength, and it is through the other’s beauty that they will find their own.
Self-achievement is an everyday thing: It needs to be renewed forever.
So where is love in all that?
After reading this blog, you may ask: ‘’How can one write about couples but not talk about love?’’ A fair question I must say!
But if you add desire, complicity and individuals’ liberty to self-achieve, wouldn’t you call that love?
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