It is hard not to take things for granted. In some way, it is the end result; some kind of proof that we made it and that we don’t have to worry about it anymore. Even though we should know that, by doing so, we are destroying everything that we have created.
There is a lot of work going on into creating everything in our lives. From renting or buying the place we live in to moving in with someone we want to share our life with. The first time you walk down the corridors leading to your new home, everything seems to shine! And to find your companion waiting for you on the bed, for the first time, is like having gone from earth to heaven in a few seconds.
But these emotions don’t last. Why is it so and what can we do about it? Or is it really better to spend our lives unsatisfied?
Un-satisfaction as a motor for creating movement
Whether good or bad, un-satisfaction is one of the most important elements in our lives moving us forward. Imagine if you got to your thirties, looked around you and suddenly thought: ‘’Well, that’s it! I’ve got all I need!’’ What would you do for the next fifty years to come?
Now don’t go thinking that, at thirty, it is not possible to have everything you need. It is. But there is no way you will ever know for sure that you indeed have it all. That is until you die or get to a point in your life where you decide to settle, once and for all, with what you have. Only then can you look back and really see what was what and who was who in the story of your life (that is: if you are strong enough to face your inner truths).
But it is possible that you have gone out there, searched for what you felt you needed and found it. If you did, though it is great, you’ll never really know either if it is the real thing. Cause there will always be a ‘’what if’’. After understanding that, the question always is: ‘’is it worth going for the what if? Cause what if ‘’what if’’ wasn’t it either and, even worse, was a loss on what you had before? Yeah, I know… it’s never easy!
I explain in my book, in more details, how you should always be open to opportunities but also to never move forward until you are completely certain of what you are doing. That is: as sure as you can be.
But there is no doubt that, for good or bad, un-satisfaction will be what creates most of the changes throughout your life.
Why is it that we forget the beauty of what surrounds us?
We do forget to look for the beauty in the things and people in our lives after a while. It is a very destructive part of what we are. But there is also another element playing its part; a previously unseen reality seeping in as times goes by.
At first, we all tend to see the positive in new sceneries and new people. It is time passing by that lets us see what we’ve previously refused to see; those factors that could have stopped us from making a decision. It is a good thing that we act like we do though. Otherwise, we’d never act upon anything and we would never evolve. Keep in mind that it is through our mistakes that we evolve the most. Therefore we need to fully live them in order to understand and apply the information into our next actions.
How does it happen? Well, it starts with the carpet you walk on everyday which doesn’t seem to be worth 1500$ a month after all. You then find cracks in the walls and, suddenly, people around you (like your neighbours) become annoying. Your girlfriend, who was so beautiful and seemed so into you, is rather distant these days. She speaks more of settling down and less of things you could/should do together. Your boyfriend seemed so intelligent but now, after listening to him over and over, he only sounds pretentious and quite boring!
Once you start to see the dark sides of your world, it is hard to go back. The only thing that can enable you to do so is to distance yourself from what you have. Go see the ‘’greener pastures’’ you’ve imagined for a while. You will most probably realize that your grass was green the whole time and you will remember, after all, why you chose to live where you live and with whom you live.
So what should we do about the need to move-on while trying to keep what is good in our lives?
We all make mistakes. Hopefully we learn how to avoid the really big ones before we find our most pertinent lifestyle (which includes everything that is part of your life from work to friends, lovers to environment). But the truth is, you may find the love of your life at 20, lose her\him at 22 and search for it the rest of your life. If that is your case, I’m sorry, but life is like that. It brings you people and situations randomly. And when it does, it is uncertain that you possess the necessary qualities to make the right choices.
The worst mistake you can make, though, is to settle. Too many people get to a point in their lives (various for each) when they think: ‘’Oh well, maybe I should just stick with what I have. It’s not what I wanted but it’s not so bad either.’’ If you think like that, move on!
The only reason why you should stick to what you have is if you have felt like, in your current global situation, at one point or another: ‘’Wow, this is what I’ve always wanted.’’ If that is the case, then question yourself profoundly before taking any drastic decisions that you may regret for the rest of your life.
There will always be something better for all of us but also and mostly much worse. However, the most common problem we will find is that people settle too easily and not that they have lost the best thing they had (though it does happen).
Don’t be scared to try to get what you really want because, if you do, you just might find it! And if you don’t find it tomorrow, try again. Life should be the way you want it to be and until it is that way: keep looking. Just don’t be arrogant with life because you may find yourself wondering one day: Why did I think I was better than my life…
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